Iridescence
by airbie
Summary: Criminal Minds High School AU Follow the future BAU journey through high school. H/C, friendship, romance, drama and angst are big themes. Hotch, Prentiss, Morgan, Reid, JJ, Rossi, Reid, Garcia, Seaver, Blake, Callahan, Strauss, Gideon Warnings: anxiety, panic attacks, abuse, grief, bullying, suicidal ideation, depression, self harm, eating disorders (there's good in this too!)
1. Teenagers

_So ages ago I wrote a high school grey's anatomy AU and I remember loving doing it so thus the idea to do this was born!_

 _I hope you all enjoy it! Any suggestions/feedback/comments/requests etc would be valued!_

 _On with the story…_

* * *

 **Chapter 1**

It was Emily Prentiss' first day at Wakefield High School. She was _more_ than dreading it. _Huh, funny,_ she thought to herself. _I've lived in 14 different countries and been to 5 high schools and yet, high school still terrifies me._

She walked through the hallway in her black outfit. She had on her black skinny jeans, her _Linkin Park_ t-shirt, a loose black cardigan that hung down to her knees and went down to her elbows and black leather Dr. Martens. Her shoulder length black hair fell down around her face like curtains. She also wore thick black eyeliner, a thick black choker and black and silver bangles up both forearms. She'd lost all motivation to wear any colour after her abortion. She was in a state of constant mourning and self-loathing.

Thanks to her mother's job she'd moved around an awful lot - 16 years old and she's lived in 14 different countries. She'd never really had the chance to put down any roots, and she'd realised that friends weren't an option either. Everyone either thought she was a freak, or she had no time to really make any friends.

She weaved her way in and out of the hoards of teenagers in the hallway as she headed to principal Strauss' office to collect her timetable.

Eventually she got there and knocked on the door. Principal Erin Strauss opened the door and peered at Emily. Emily realised she was expected to speak.

"Uh, Emily Prentiss, Miss. I'm the new transfer student." She said, albeit rather meekly.

"Oh, yes. Come on in." Principal Strauss walked back into her office and Emily dutifully followed. She'd learned a few schools back not to mess with the principal, they'd make your life hell if you did. "Please, sit." Principal Strauss gestured to the seat facing her desk. Emily nodded and sat down. Principal Strauss started rummaging through neatly stacked papers on her desk and pulled out a single piece of paper. "Here." She said, handing it over to Emily. "This will be your timetable. You've already chosen your classes so all should be in order." To Emily, principal Strauss didn't seem hostile, but she wasn't the most welcoming, either.

"Thank you." Emily said. She looked over her timetable and saw all of her classes were correct. She had study periods too because there was no point in her taking French, Spanish or Italian since she could already speak them all fluently. "It's all correct, Miss."

"Good." Principal Strauss said plainly. "Good luck for your first day." Emily took this as a sign to leave.

"Thank you." She picked up her black canvas backpack and left the office in pursuit of her first class.

* * *

Aaron Hotchner entered AP English just as the bell went off. He'd had to drop his younger brother Sean off at school this morning because his teacher had needed to see all of the students' parents about an upcoming field trip and his mother hadn't been around for years and there was no chance at all of his father going - so he had to. Sighing, he took his seat next to Haley Brooks, who kept giving him odd looks he didn't feel comfortable with at all.

Just as the teacher was about to begin, the door swung open again and a girl clad in black stumbled into the room.

"Sorry… I couldn't find the room." She said. "I'm new here."

"Your name?" The teacher asked, sounding rather bored.

"Emily Prentiss." Emily replied.

"Oh yes, right. I remember." The teacher said. "Um, sit over there next to Kate." Emily followed his gaze to the back of the room and to a girl with beautiful wavy chocolate brown hair that stopped just short of her shoulders and an innocent look. Emily nodded and walked to the back of the room. She sat down next to Kate and took her books and pencil case out of her bag. Kate smiled at her.

"Hi." She said, sweetly. "I'm Kate Callahan." She offered her hand to Emily, who shook it.

"Emily Prentiss." She said. "Nice to meet you."

"Likewise." Emily had no more time to admire Kate's beauty as the teacher began speaking. She turned and faced the front. _No._ She scolded herself. _Look what happened the last time you were interested in someone. Let it go. You're a_ freak _, anyway._

* * *

Ashley Beauchamp sat alone in the cafeteria at lunch. She pushed her food around on the plastic plate. She didn't really feel like eating. She'd just had PE and had had to endure listening to the compliments her fellow sophomore Jennifer Jareau on her beautiful figure and the snide remarks about her own 'flabby stomach'. She looked across the cafeteria and her eyes landed upon Jennifer. Oh, how Ashley wishes she was more like Jennifer. She was a star player on the soccer team (and only a sophomore, she could only imagine what she'd be like next year), she had loads of friends and she was so popular. Her headache coupled with PE and Jennifer made Ashley not want to touch her food at all. She pushed the tray away from her and started her chemistry homework instead.

Elsewhere in the cafeteria sat Spencer Reid. Spencer was only 12 years old and a senior in high school. It was safe to say he was a genius. But being a child prodigy didn't come without its problems. Everyone thought he was a freak, _everyone_. Especially after the end of the last school year when he was lured toward the football field and forced to strip naked and was tied to a flagpole. He'd never live that one down. His mother didn't even notice he got home at gone midnight. She'd been having one of her _episodes_. She was schizophrenic, something Spencer had been forced to learn how to deal with as his father had walked out on them a number of years previously. So, between being a child prodigy and having a schizophrenic mother, Reid guessed he really was a freak after all. His one friend was a fellow senior named Penelope Garcia. She was eccentric, and a bit of an outcast like him. They got on very well. Soon after lunch had started she sat down next to him. She was wearing knee high red faux leather boots with matching elbow length gloves, a floral yellow skirt, a black leather jacket and a white t-shirt. Yes, she was eccentric.

"Hey, Boy Genius." She said, sitting herself down next to Spencer.

"Hi Penelope." He replied. He took a bite of his tuna sandwich while Penelope picked the carrots out of her soup. "You know, you really should eat those, they're full of-" he started, he was about to explain the benefits of eating carrots when he was cut off.

"Yeah, I know, I know. But they're _icky_ , I'm not eating them." Spencer frowned and went back to his tuna sandwich. "Done anything interesting today?" She asked him after swallowing a mouthful of her soup.

"Oh, yes!" Spencer exclaimed excitedly. He went on to explain what he'd learned in ACP physics that morning. Penelope wasn't really interested, but could see that her friend was so she listened to him nonetheless. He was her best friend.

* * *

"I still don't get it." Derek Morgan complained. All he wanted was to spend his lunch in the cafeteria with the other football players. Not to be stuck in the library being tutored for English Lit by Alex Miller. Sure, she was nice enough, but what sophomore wanted to be seen with a senior in the library at lunch. It would be different if she were _hot_ , but she wasn't so it was just plain embarrassing. It's not like she wasn't decent looking, but she had more of a motherly appearance rather than the typical hot teenage girl appearance. Again, it was _not_ anything that would get Derek any street credit, but she was nice, which was the only thing that made this tutoring session tolerable.

"Okay," Alex said, she thought about how best to explain this to the sophomore, "imagine being dead-set on winning the championship football game."

"I am." Derek interceded. She smiled.

"Okay, so imagine you're _so_ set on it you'd do _anything_ to make sure you win it. Even murder the opposing team members that might stand in your way."

"Okay…" Derek agreed.

"That's what Macbeth did. The witches told him that he would be King hereafter, so he and Lady Macbeth were so blinded by their desire for Macbeth to become King, that they murdered those who stood in their way so they could get there. Does that make more sense?" Derek's eyes widened.

"Oh! Yeah, I do!" He exclaimed. She chucked.

"Good, let's look at the consequences next."

* * *

 _I've got practically the whole next chapter written, so hopefully it'll be out soon!_

 _Leave a review? x_


	2. I'm Not Okay (I Promise)

_Those of you that are following this story, 1) thank you! also 2) you'll see that I've updated chapter 1 and taken Rossi out, I couldn't write him as a teenager, I just didn't know where to go with his character, but I have him in this story still! You'll see him again next chapter!_

 _Thank you so much for all your kind reviews so far! They're much appreciated!_

* * *

The next day, on her way to the bathroom during her study period, Penelope noticed something in the hallway opposite her. Being the ever curious person she was, she went to investigate. There, in the hallway stood a raven haired girl who seemed to be peering at the room numbers. She seemed rather flustered.

"Are you okay there?" Penelope called out. Emily spun around quickly to face her,she got a little bit distracted by Penelope's bright attire.

"I, uh…" She said. Penelope waited. "I'm sorta lost." Penelope smiled at the girl and walked towards her.

"Where are you trying to go?" She asked.

"Psychology?" Emily offered.

"Oh goodness yes," Penelope said, "you're on the wrong side of the school, Hun, let me show you where it is." Emily smiled gratefully.

"Thanks." She said as she began to follow the other girl.

"Penelope Garcia." Penelope introduced.

"Emily Prentiss." Emily replied.

"Nice to meet you Emily. You new here?" Penelope asked as they walked.

"Yeah, just moved from France." Emily answered.

"France? You don't sound french." Penelope said, laughing. Emily chuckled awkwardly.

"I'm not. My mum's job means we move around a lot. I can speak it, though." Emily said. She liked Penelope. She was kind. Talking about her family was not something she did easily, she was surprised at how easy it was to tell Penelope.

"Oh cool! I'd love to experience different cultures!" Penelope exclaimed excitedly. They turned one last corner and into a small corridor with 4 classrooms. "That one, right there." Penelope said, pointing at the furthest classroom.

"Thanks Penelope." Emily said.

"No problem, Gumdrop." _Gumdrop?_ Emily pondered the sudden nickname. She liked Penelope but she hoped she wouldn't go around school calling her that, she could only imagine the taunts she'd get. "You'll love Mr. Gideon, the teacher. He used to be a part of the FBI's behavioural analysis unit. He's _so_ interesting. He's never taught me but he's run a few assemblies, he's great." Penelope said. Emily smiled.

"I hope so. Bye!" Emily called.

"Bye!" Penelope called back as she walked off. Emily entered the classroom and all eyes turned on her. She felt horribly self conscious, just how late was she?

"Um… Sorry, Sir, I got lost…" Emily said quickly.

"Not to worry." Mr Gideon said cheerfully. He was a short-ish man, with dark hair and a serious face that softened when he smiled. "Emily Prentiss?"

"Yeah, that's me." She replied.

"Take a seat in any seat that's free." He said and resumed teaching. Emily looked around the room, being told to find a seat was a lot harder than it seemed. She didn't want to annoy anyone by sitting with them. She then saw Kate from her English class and Kate smiled at her and gestured at the empty seat next to her. Emily made her way over to Kate and gratefully took the proffered seat. She thought that this class could be a good one.

* * *

That lunchtime Emily decided to brave the cafeteria. She'd avoided it yesterday, but found that no food all school day made her painfully hungry by the time she could leave. She stood there with her tray full of mediocre cafeteria food and surveyed the room. She had absolutely no idea where to sit. There were no empty tables and she didn't want to impose herself on anyone. _This was a terrible idea,_ she thought to herself. She turned to throw her food into the bin when she heard a shout.

"Emily!" She turned to try and locate the voice. It took a moment but with her blonde hair donned with pink cat ears and bright pink t-shirt, she saw Penelope waving her over. She made her way through the crowd to where Penelope was sat. "Sit!" Penelope said excitedly. Emily looked at Spencer who was sat there focused on a book and hoped he didn't mind. _If he does I just won't sit here again_ , she reasoned and sat down.

"Hi Penelope." Emily smiled.

"Hey, Junior G-Man," Penelope said, nudging Spencer, "this is Emily Prentiss," she gestured at Emily, "and Emily this is Spencer Reid."

"Hello." The young boy said.

"Hi." Emily said. _At least 'gumdrop' hasn't made another appearance,_ Emily thought to herself. She studied Spencer, _he doesn't look old enough to be in high school,_ she thought. Penelope seemed to latch onto her thoughts.

"Spencer's a child genius." She said. Spencer looked up.

"Penelope!" He whined. Penelope laughed.

"It's true! Do you know any other 12 year old seniors?" Emily laughed awkwardly.

"No, I do not."

"See!" Spencer mock glared at her. He closed his book and began to open his jelly (his favourite part of his meal). "So, Emily, where are you from?" Emily didn't know how she should answer this. They seem like nice people, but they might not be. Still, Penelope knew she moved around a lot so she couldn't lie about that to Spencer.

"I was born here, but my mother's an ambassador so I've had to move around a lot." Emily explained. She was worried about what kind of reaction she'd get.

"How many places have you lived in?" Penelope questioned.

"14." Emily said, smiling nervously.

"14! Wow!" Penelope exclaimed. "Which countries have you lived in?"

"Um," Emily had trouble remembering them because of how many different ones there were. "Two in Spain, two in England, Russia, Egypt, France, Iraq, Brasil, Italy, Ivory Coast, Algeria and Mexico… And here, of course."

"I want to visit the Middle East." Spencer chimed in. "Did you know Arabs are family oriented people and their family is the core of their life. They do everything that they can in order to keep their family in a good condition and safe from any harmful influence. Arab families are usually big with a lot of children in the household."

"Duh, she's lived there." Penelope laughed and then turned to Emily. "That's _so_ awesome!"

"Not as a teenager," Emily remarked bitterly. She resented her mother's job. It wasn't like she was even home most of the time, anyway. She was always on some kind of trip. More often than not leaving Emily alone at home for weeks at a time. "you can't exactly make friends if you're there for only 3 months."

"We'll be your friends!" Penelope cheered. "Right, Spencer?"

"Yep!" Spencer said cheerfully. Emily was really happy, never had she met two people she'd become friends with so quickly, well, maybe apart from Matthew whom she met in Rome, but still.

"Thanks, guys." It felt good to finally have some friends.

* * *

Jennifer was walking home from soccer practice through the park by the community centre. She was walking quickly as this was an area of the city she really didn't like being in. It was a disadvantaged neighbourhood with a higher than normal crime rate but it was also the quickest way back to her home.

She was just about through the park when she heard something that sounded like a whimper. She scanned the rapidly darkening area and saw a body sat hunched over on the bench. She squinted as to see if she could see anything else. What she saw confused and worried her. _Isn't that Derek from school?_ She thought to herself.

After a moment of deliberation, she decided to go and see what was wrong. She walked up cautiously so she wouldn't scare him.

"Derek?" She called out. Derek looked up at her, a mixture of fear and surprise were evident on his face, as well as tears. His mouth hung open as the embarrassment set in. He then hid his damp face in his hands.

"Go away." He whispered, brokenly. JJ looked at the boy and decided she couldn't leave him alone, not like this. She sat down beside him. They weren't friends, they were both sophomores and they had psychology together and that was it.

"No." She said simply. "I'm going to put my hand on your back to try and help calm you." She said so that she wouldn't surprise him. He flinched violently as she did so, so she immediately withdrew her hand. Derek began to cry harder and his whole body shook. Jennifer tentatively placed her hand on his back again, and upon no adverse reaction she began to rub soothing circles on his back. "Ssh…" She soothed. "You're okay."

After what seemed like forever but in reality was only about 10 minutes, Derek began to calm down. Jennifer continued to rub circles on his back until he sat back up.

"Sorry." He mumbled, looking down at his lap.

"Don't be." Jennifer told him. They sat there in silence for a few minutes as Derek composed himself. It was beyond embarrassing to be in this state for him.

"You know," He said, "you've got this reputation as a mean girl, but you're actually very caring." Jennifer scoffed. "Even if you don't want it, it's there." Derek finished. Jennifer eyed him suspiciously. She didn't want people thinking she was nice, because being mean is how she dealt with everything after her sister, Rosaline, died 5 years ago. It wasn't anything she'd ever discussed with anyone. Her family had kept her sister's suicide quiet and JJ had no intention to disrupt that, because doing so would mean that she'd have to deal with her grief, and she did not want to do that. Being mean was her cover, it was an easier way to get through.

"Whatever." She said bluntly. Her concern for her classmate however overtook her desire to not be seen as nice. "What happened?" The question made Derek stop completely, this was not one he wanted to answer, not at all. At the age of ten, he was a witness to the shooting death of his father, a police officer. After his father's death, he struggled somewhat with youthful fighting, which earned him a juvenile criminal record. He was taken under the wing of a local youth center coordinator, Carl Buford. Buford acted as a surrogate father to him, helping him in many different ways like a father would, but what no one knew, Buford was also sexually abusing him. That's what led to him being in this park. He'd always come here after one of the 'sessions' with Buford to get over his emotions before returning home to his mother and two sisters.

"Nothing." He mumbled. He really didn't want to discuss it, he didn't even know Jennifer well so he really didn't want to discuss it with her.

"Doesn't look like nothing." She argued.

"It's really nothing important." He insisted. Jennifer sighed and stood up.

"All right." She said, she didn't really want to leave someone who had just been _that_ upset, but she didn't want to push him and they weren't friends anyway. "Night, Derek."

"Night." Derek replied and they were both left in the rapidly encroaching darkness feeling utterly alone with their secrets.

* * *

 _Ouch._ That was the only thought that had crossed Aaron's mind for the last few minutes as his father had been throwing him around the living room. His father seemed to still see him as the irresponsible, misbehaving prat from 5 years ago when he was sent off to boarding school for 2 years. He decided there that he could turn his behaviour around, but his father didn't notice, or care. He got drunk a lot and would take it out on Aaron. Aaron would try his best to keep his 7 year old brother Sean away from his father's rage which was working, it just meant he took everything, which he was okay with as long as Sean didn't get hurt.

"You worthless being!" His father yelled at Aaron for no reason in particular. Aaron had long since learned to keep quiet as talking back when his father was like this was futile and ended in a particularly nasty bruise across his stomach which made doing anything hurt immensely. "You pathetic, worthless, stupid piece of trash!" His father yelled again, pushing Aaron into the door frame. _Ouch!_ That one hurt, a lot.

That was it for Aaron, it may have been 9 PM but he'd had enough. Sean was staying with their grandmother (as Aaron had tried to get him to do as much as possible) so Aaron slid past his father, grabbed his school bag and a spare jumper and left.

He walked through the quiet suburban streets solemnly, unsure of what he was to do now, he just knew he couldn't stand to be at home any longer. He knew his father wouldn't notice his absence so that wasn't an issue. He lived in a middle class neighbourhood so the houses were nice and streets were pretty. It wasn't a bad walk, it was just a little chilly as mid October tends to be.

It wasn't too long before he found himself roaming around a nearby upper class neighbourhood. The houses here were rather spectacular and Aaron found himself content in imagining a life inside one, and a happier family to go with it.

* * *

 _Ooh, bonus points if you can guess where Hotch is going!_

 _Leave me a review? x_


	3. The Little Things Give You Away

_Hi guys! Not gonna lie I went camping and then totally forgot about this story!_

 _I had this chapter written already but I just completely forgot about it!_

 _Also, bonus points to_ zhangxinna _who correctly guessed where Hotch was going ;)_

* * *

Emily couldn't sleep, as usual. To be fair it was only 10 PM but still. Her mother was away (again) on a business trip and her father had run off with a twenty something woman back in Cairo so that left her alone. Having such a large house to herself was incredibly lonely, and not to mention a little bit creepy also.

It was safe to say that she was depressed. She'd have an actual diagnosis if her mother was around enough to actually take her to the doctors. Moving around a lot wasn't exactly good for a teenager emotionally. She had lost all sense of who she was and gave up trying to find herself.

She was sat staring out onto her new street when she saw something move. This time, rather than the odd car, it was a person. She sat up straight and squinted at the figure, and then realised it was a boy from some of her classes. He looked cold, she thought to herself. His arms were wrapped around his torso and he was hunched over. She felt an overwhelming urge to invite him inside.

She grabbed her black dressing gown ran down the stairs so she could catch him before he reached the end of the street. She thrust open her door and yelled after him, which proved difficult as she did not yet know his name.

"Hey!" She left her front door ajar and walked down the pavement, ignoring the fact that she only had on a pair of socks on her feet. Aaron turned around to face her. He stood there, shocked. Emily wrapped her dressing gown around her and walked further towards him. "Are you okay?" He didn't know what to answer, he didn't want to tell her what happened but at the same time he really did. He just wanted someone to know, and someone to care. But they hardly knew each other so she was not the person for him to tell it to.

"I, uh, yeah." He said, rather unconvincingly. Emily eyed him up and down.

"Where're you headed?" She asked. She was surprised she was challenging him, normally she couldn't bring herself to care enough to drag herself out.

"Um, home." Aaron answered. Emily didn't believe him one bit.

"I know you barely know me, and trust me when I say I don't do this often, but do you want to come inside for a bit?" She offered. "It's warmer than out here." She added, pulling her dressing gown around her tighter. Aaron stood there for a moment deciding on whether he should accept her offer or not. Eventually, his inner voice of reason triumphed.

"Yes, please." He answered quietly, he felt rather vulnerable. Emily smiled and nodded.

"Come on." She said as she began walking back to her house.

"Thanks." Aaron replied quietly as he followed her.

"I'm Emily, by the way, if you didn't hear in English." She said.

"Aaron Hotchner." He said in return. "Nice to meet you Emily."

"Likewise." He followed her up her short driveway and into her spectacular house. Aaron couldn't hide his shock.

"Trust me," She said, "it's not as great as it seems." Aaron couldn't help but notice the slight tone of resentment in her voice, as well as one of sadness. "Can I get you a drink?"

"Is it too late for coffee?" He asked.

"Not at all." She replied, retrieving two coffee mugs from her cupboard and she set about making two cups of coffee. "So, Aaron, what caused you to be wandering around this late at night?" She asked, attempting to fill the awkward silence. Aaron gulped subconsciously, which did not go unnoticed by Emily. "Okay, let's just get to know each other? I'll tell you one thing about me, you tell me one thing about you and we carry on like that?" She offered.

"Sure." He agreed, tension leaving his shoulders as she didn't press on about why he was out so late. "Is no one else here?" He asked.

"Uh, no." Emily answered. She led Aaron over to her living room and gave him his mug of coffee after he'd sat down on one of her very comfy sofas. She sat down next to him and turned the television on but on a very low volume, just for some background noise which Aaron appreciated.

"So," She began, taking a sip of her coffee. "I'm 16."

"I'm 17." Aaron said.

"I'm an only child."

"I have a younger brother named Sean."

"My mum is a US ambassador, which is why we're alone right now, she's away on business." Aaron didn't want to mention his family so had to think of another fact.

"I went to boarding school for two years." _Family is a no-go subject right now_. Emily decided.

"I've lived in 12 different countries."

"12?" Aaron couldn't help but ask.

"Yeah, 12. My mums job means we move a lot." Emily explained. "I've talked her into staying here until I graduate though, it just means she'll be away a lot." She said with a rather melancholy tone.

"I'm sorry." Aaron said.

"Don't be." Emily said. "Your turn."

"I… This is hard." He said, laughing. "My mother left when I was 11, just after Sean was born."

"I'm sorry." Emily said.

"Don't be." Aaron replied, then they both smiled sheepishly at each other after repeating their earlier words.

"So…" Emily began, unsure at how to broach the subject. "What were you doing out so late?" Aaron was a little shocked at the question but not too surprised, he guessed it would come sooner or later. Emily sensed his trepidation. "I'm not normally this talkative, I'm pretty quiet and won't want to talk, I'll get sad a lot and probably ignore you, but if you want, or need it, you're welcome here whenever. We have two guest bedrooms and my mother will be away for at least another month. So yeah, if you need a place to stay…" Emily stopped, holding her breath as she realised everything she'd just said and regretted letting him know that much about her, but as soon as she saw the relief in his eyes she forgot about her regret.

"My dad," Aaron began, "we had an argument. He'd been drinking… I managed to get Sean to stay with our grandmother because I had this feeling he would be… like that… and well, he can get violent on occasion…" He stopped as he saw worry etched onto her features. "But mostly he's not, you know? Anyways, I just needed to get out, I couldn't…" She reached out and put a hand over his and squeezed it in support.

"Let me show you the guest bedroom."

* * *

Psychology was an extremely interesting class. Well, at least Kate thought so. Most of her peers just said that it was too difficult, but not Kate. She found Mr Gideon fascinating and it really helped that she got to sit next to Emily. She found Emily absolutely breathtakingly beautiful with her dark hair and pale skin. She wished so hard that Emily would look at her the same way that she looks at Emily. But Kate knew she was always doomed to fall for the straight girls. Which, in her defence, were the majority, but that didn't make it any less painful. What she didn't know was that the dark haired girl had had the exact same thoughts about her the day that they met in English.

* * *

Everyone thought Alex Miller was perfect. She was a straight A student, everybody liked her. Nobody knew how she got through each day. Nobody knew her darkest secret. There was a lot that was out of control in her life Yes, she was well liked but she didn't have any close friends. Her parents would constantly argue but refused to get a divorce. That's why she was so smart, she spent all of her time in the library so she wouldn't have to go home. Two years ago she'd found a way to control her life again. She'd do it after meals, big or small, if the meal contained food that wasn't something she approved of, she'd throw it back up. There were very few "safe foods" she had, which meant over the last two years, throwing up her meals became a daily occurrence, and as much as she knew she shouldn't do it, it gave her control and therefore overrode any sense of wrongdoing.

She was sat in the school library one Tuesday evening staring blankly at her open textbook. Very soon she'd leave for youth group before she headed home for the night and she was trying to cram in some extra studying but her mind was elsewhere. All she wanted was takeaway pizza. She couldn't explain her craving but it was there. Perhaps it was just a way of dealing with her feelings of loneliness.

She decided then to pack up her school supplies and then head back home as she wasn't getting any work done and she was rather tired. As she was leaving she ran into Spencer.

"Hi Spencer." She said, smiling. Spencer liked Alex. She seemed to be the only senior, save for Penelope, to treat him like an actual human being. He'd always see her in the library after school when he stayed there to avoid going home to his mother because it's not like she'd notice anyway.

"Hello Alex." He replied.

"How are you?" She asked.

"Good, thanks. What about you?"

"Yeah, I'm good, thank you." They walked out of the library and down the stairs together. Spencer wanted to ask her why she was also always in the library but decided not to, he didn't need another person thinking he was annoying. "You headed home?" She asked.

"Yeah. Are you?" He asked back.

"Yeah, I'm pretty beat." She replied. "Hey, you live near the interstate, right?"

"Uh, yeah..?" Spencer answered, people knowing where he lived was never a good thing. Alex saw the look on his face and suddenly felt awful for the way she's brought that up.

"Oh, no, it's nothing bad. I just drive past you on the way to school sometimes. Would you like a lift home?" Spencer stared back at her.

"Really?" He asked before he could realise that probably wasn't the best reaction. Alex smiled.

"Yeah, of course."

"Yes, please." Spencer said gratefully. "Thank you."

* * *

Ashley was so, so tired. _Just one more lap_ , she'd say to herself as she ran around the track at the sports centre. Ashley stopped eating not too long ago, she just wanted to lose some weight, to be more like the girls that everyone likes at school, but now she loves the high she gets from not eating. Everytime she could skip a meal or hide food she got such a rush that allowed her to feel something other than a constant numbness. She loved it. She craved it. The number on the scale kept dropping and it was a constant reminder of her success and she found herself doing anything, including her 8PM jogging sessions to keep it going down. It was exhilarating.

After completing another lap she finally stopped and drank some water. She decided that that was enough for tonight and headed back home. She loved her mother, she became her sounding board after her father was arrested. She was much too young to remember exactly why, and her mother skims over the details of it all, but that time made her grow so much closer to her mum which she was extremely grateful for. She hated lying to her about her recent food intake but she just couldn't stop.

"Hi Ashley." Her mum called as she walked back inside on shaky legs after her workout.

"Hi Mum!" Ashley called back. Her mum appeared in the doorway holding the laundry basket.

"Good day, sweetheart?" She asked.

"Yeah." Ashley replied without even thinking. "Did you have a good day?" Her mum began going on about her day and Ashley smiled and nodded and added in responses where appropriate but she wasn't really listening. All she could focus on was the hunger she felt and how tired she was. "Are you all right, Honey?" She heard her mother ask. She forced a smile.

"Yeah, I'm just exhausted." It wasn't a complete lie. "I'm going to go and lie down, I think, perhaps have an early night."

"All right sweetheart." Her mum said. "Goodnight."

"Night." Ashley replied. "Love you."

"I love you too." Her mum answered before going off to finish the laundry. Ashley walked up the stairs to her bedroom and collapsed onto the bed. She fell asleep almost instantly. She was so, so tired.

* * *

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